LGBT: My girlfriend left me for a man and he's being a total jerk. In need of advice?

I am deeply saddened. I'm a 53 year old lesbian and I gave my ex-girlfriend Judy 25 years of my life. I was so good to this woman. I helped raised her son since he was six years old. Her entire family LOVED me and accepted our lesbian relationship especially her father. Judy left me four months ago for another MAN and I've been in pain ever since. Her father passed away this morning; he suffered a massive heart attack. He's been ill for a few years and we all knew this day was coming but it's still devastating. The man was so good to me. We all loved him. I'm so upset because I told my Judy I'd be there for her when this day comes. I made her this promise long before she cheated on me. I live in Florida and most of our family lives in Vermont. The entire family is crying their eyes out. I called my Judy's cell and her boyfriend picked up. Even those this is the jerk who stole my woman, I still was polite when I asked to speak to her and he had the audacity to tell me "I am her man now, it's my job to console her at this time" and then he hung up. Hours later, Judy called me back crying and apologizing for him. I couldn't help it but I cursed her out first THEN I cried with her and offered my condolences. I promised I'd be there for her when this happens and she screwed us both by leaving me for this stupid idiot. God bear my witness, when I attend the funeral, this man better stay far away from me. I will gladly recruit a few of my nephews to pummel him into the ground. Even Judy's son can't stand this man. I was like a second mother to him. How can I deal with this? What should I do?